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{"id":1614,"date":"2023-04-21T20:24:28","date_gmt":"2023-04-21T19:24:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.narum.org\/?p=1614"},"modified":"2023-04-18T20:28:27","modified_gmt":"2023-04-18T19:28:27","slug":"memento-mori-gyngestoltesten","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.narum.org\/memento-mori-gyngestoltesten\/","title":{"rendered":"Memento mori &#8211; gyngestoltesten"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Vil du ha et nytt\u00e5rsforsett som virkelig betyr noe? Pr\u00f8v gyngestoltesten.<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"697\" src=\"https:\/\/www.narum.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/2021_0102_Memento_mori-1024x697.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1616\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.narum.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/2021_0102_Memento_mori-1024x697.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.narum.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/2021_0102_Memento_mori-300x204.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.narum.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/2021_0102_Memento_mori-768x523.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.narum.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/2021_0102_Memento_mori-1536x1046.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.narum.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/2021_0102_Memento_mori-2048x1394.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I Dagmars familie handler nytt\u00e5rsforsettene gjerne om \u00e5 bli kvitt uvaner. De starter friskt, men lykkes sjelden. Hun vurderer et annet slags nytt\u00e5rsforsett i \u00e5r. Hun har alltid v\u00e6rt redd for d\u00f8den, 2020 bragte liksom d\u00f8den n\u00e6rmere, men ingen i familien vil snakke om det. Derfor \u00f8nsker hun \u00e5 finne en m\u00e5te \u00e5 n\u00e6rme seg temaet p\u00e5. Problemet er at det er s\u00e5 lett \u00e5 styre unna ved i stedet \u00e5 snakke om evig liv eller alternativer til d\u00f8den.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Det finnes minst fire forestillinger om hvordan man kan unnslippe d\u00f8den: <em>Den f\u00f8rste<\/em> handler om \u00e5 unng\u00e5 den fullstendig, for eksempel ved \u00e5 finne ungdomskilden eller en livgivende pille eller stamceller som gj\u00f8r at kroppen overlever p\u00e5 ubestemt tid. <em>Den andre<\/em> handler om \u00e5 forlate kroppen og bli gjenf\u00f8dt eller reinkarnert. Alternativt kan man fryse ned kroppen og h\u00e5pe p\u00e5 at noen gjenoppliver deg en gang n\u00e5r det blir teknisk mulig. <em>Den tredje<\/em> handler om at vi alle har en ud\u00f8delig sjel som blir tatt opp i en h\u00f8yere enhet, for eksempel paradis, alternativt at det blir mulig \u00e5 overf\u00f8re bevissthet elektronisk, slik at den kan lastes opp i skyen og leve videre som avatar. <em>Den fjerde<\/em> m\u00e5ten er \u00e5 etterlate noe som kan leve videre i generasjoner, gjennom etterkommere eller etterm\u00e6le.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Forskningen om s\u00e5kalt d\u00f8dsbevissthet har tatt utgangspunkt i at folk som har v\u00e6rt utsatt for en n\u00e6r-d\u00f8den-opplevelse, ofte har rapportert at de etterp\u00e5 setter st\u00f8rre pris p\u00e5 livet. De greier \u00e5 se hverdagen i st\u00f8rre perspektiv. Hvis det f\u00f8r var uaktuelt \u00e5 levere noe annet enn et helt perfekt produkt p\u00e5 jobben, er det n\u00e5 mulig \u00e5 levere noe som er godt nok. De \u00f8nsker \u00e5 bruke mer tid p\u00e5 familien. Siden de fleste av oss heldigvis slipper \u00e5 havne i n\u00e6r-d\u00f8den-opplevelser, kan man rett og slett n\u00f8ye seg med \u00e5 snakke om liv og d\u00f8d. Det har vist seg at det ogs\u00e5 virker ganske bra. Folk som gjennomf\u00f8rer denne typen samtaler, rapporterer ogs\u00e5 ofte at de har f\u00e5tt nye perspektiver p\u00e5 livet.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Det betyr at mange kan f\u00e5 det litt bedre ved ganske enkelt \u00e5 snakke om d\u00f8den i stedet for \u00e5 late som den ikke finnes. Dagmar ville gjerne pr\u00f8ve. En m\u00e5te \u00e5 gj\u00f8re det p\u00e5 er \u00e5 tegne en strek p\u00e5 et papir \u2013 en livslinje. Starten p\u00e5 linjen er f\u00f8dselen, slutten er d\u00f8den. Dagmar gjorde dette med mannen sin, Didrik, en helg i desember. De fant ut at de antagelig var litt over midtveis i livet, statistisk sett, og de stilte hverandre sp\u00f8rsm\u00e5l om livet: Hva var det mest skjellsettende du gjorde f\u00f8r du var ti, f\u00f8r du var femten, f\u00f8r du var nitten? Hva gjorde du, hva tenkte du, hva f\u00f8lte du? Hvilke verdier var viktige for deg da du tok det eller det valget? Til Dagmars overraskelse, greide de \u00e5 bruke mange timer bare p\u00e5 \u00e5 snakke seg frem til idag. Det gikk en uke f\u00f8r de fant tid til \u00e5 fortsette. Om de n\u00e5 er omtrent midtveis i livet, hva vil de gj\u00f8re med resten av tiden?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Gyngestoltesten<\/em> kan v\u00e6re en bra m\u00e5te \u00e5 f\u00e5 fugleperspektiv p\u00e5 livet p\u00e5: Tenk deg at du sitter i en gyngestol p\u00e5 gamlehjemmet og ser tilbake. Hva er det viktigste du har gjort? Hva skulle du gjerne ha brukt mer tid p\u00e5, og hva kunne du gjort mindre av?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Folk som tar gyngestoltesten, konkluderer nesten alltid med at de viktigste tingene ikke handler om karriere, luksusopplevelser eller eiendeler. De eneste sp\u00f8rsm\u00e5lene som betyr noe, er: Har jeg elsket? Ble jeg elsket?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dagmar og Didrik fant ut at de ihvertfall ikke har str\u00f8ket. Kanskje jobbet de litt for mye i noen \u00e5r, og dette gikk p\u00e5 bekostning av tid med eldstebarnet, men de er enige om at det ogs\u00e5 er ganske mye kj\u00e6rlighet i \u00e5 s\u00f8rge for at familien har det de trenger. Dagmar lurer p\u00e5 om det kan v\u00e6re en id\u00e9 \u00e5 lufte denne tanken med eldstebarnet ogs\u00e5? Jeg mener at det absolutt kan ha noe for seg. Om eldstebarnet har opplevd dette som et savn, vet vi ikke enn\u00e5, men \u00e5 stille sp\u00f8rsm\u00e5let er uansett en m\u00e5te \u00e5 vise omsorg p\u00e5, idag.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Det neste sp\u00f8rsm\u00e5let Dagmar og Didrik m\u00e5 forholde seg til, er om de \u00f8nsker \u00e5 endre noe. Den m\u00e5ten de har lagt opp hverdagene p\u00e5 n\u00e5, er det slik de vil ha det? Hvilke verdier \u00f8nsker de \u00e5 leve etter i den siste halvdelen av livet? Dette \u00e5rsskiftet har b\u00e5de Dagmar og Didrik endret sitt nytt\u00e5rsforsett. Det handler ikke om slanking og r\u00f8yking, det handler om \u00e5 best\u00e5 gyngestoltesten ogs\u00e5 i 2021.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Godt nytt \u00e5r!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Publisert i Dagbladet Magasinet 2. januar 2021<br>Psykolog og parterapeut Andreas L\u00f8es Narum i Parweb.no<br>Kategorier: Relasjonstips, Kranglem\u00f8nstre<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Vil du ha et nytt\u00e5rsforsett som virkelig betyr noe? Pr\u00f8v gyngestoltesten. I Dagmars familie handler nytt\u00e5rsforsettene gjerne om \u00e5 bli kvitt uvaner. De starter friskt, men lykkes sjelden. Hun vurderer et annet slags nytt\u00e5rsforsett i \u00e5r. Hun har alltid v\u00e6rt redd for d\u00f8den, 2020 bragte liksom d\u00f8den n\u00e6rmere, men ingen i familien vil snakke om det. Derfor \u00f8nsker hun \u00e5 finne en m\u00e5te \u00e5 n\u00e6rme seg temaet p\u00e5. Problemet er at det er s\u00e5 lett \u00e5 styre unna ved i stedet \u00e5 snakke om evig liv eller alternativer til d\u00f8den.\u00a0 Det finnes minst fire forestillinger om hvordan man kan unnslippe\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[51,44,50,57,49,39],"tags":[134,133],"post_folder":[],"blocksy_meta":"","yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Memento mori - gyngestoltesten - narum.org<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.narum.org\/memento-mori-gyngestoltesten\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nb_NO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Memento mori - gyngestoltesten - narum.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Vil du ha et nytt\u00e5rsforsett som virkelig betyr noe? 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Pr\u00f8v gyngestoltesten. I Dagmars familie handler nytt\u00e5rsforsettene gjerne om \u00e5 bli kvitt uvaner. De starter friskt, men lykkes sjelden. Hun vurderer et annet slags nytt\u00e5rsforsett i \u00e5r. Hun har alltid v\u00e6rt redd for d\u00f8den, 2020 bragte liksom d\u00f8den n\u00e6rmere, men ingen i familien vil snakke om det. Derfor \u00f8nsker hun \u00e5 finne en m\u00e5te \u00e5 n\u00e6rme seg temaet p\u00e5. 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